Having removed Being Terribly Naughty from my list of challenges due to my having complicated it by inverting the meaning and therefore confusing myself with logic gaps, I feel I ought to replace it with something. Now, it is a little, tiny bit tempting to include (said in a whisper in the hope you might not remind me I said it) Giving Up Smoking. I know. I know. Of course I should. And I have been thinking about it more of late (after all, it has become a bit of a seasonal sport because standing outside post-October isn't much fun) and kind of want to do it.
It is a bit of a major one to tackle because when it comes to the 'if someone could wave a magic wand' question my answer isn't that 'I wish I'd never started' or 'to give up instantly'. My wish is that it was good for me. Or at least not bad for me. I was raised on a cultural diet of smokey pubs, nightclubs and gigs, Ian McCulloch, 1950's cult heroes, Kent cigarettes looking terribly cool and general rebelliousness - all of which imbue smoking with a strange, if deadly, attraction for me. It's the deadly bit I'm not keen on. So bear with me. It's not forgotten. I'll start practicing and then sometime soon (ish) will decide on a start date. Or I might just start and tell you after the event.
Getting Thinner - The thinking thin has been somewhat lacking as I have been thinking of other things. Namely how good it feels to be able to eat properly again. On the positive side, although there was a momentary one pound gain I have now reverted back to 13 stone 1lb - which is actually half a pound lighter the last progress report.
As for the exercising (best not to look to me for inspiration on this front) I haven't managed 4 sets of anything other than getting out of bed for the last week. So tonight I will be getting back on track as I have noticed there are some bits of me that might look a little more appealing with a bit of toning. It's either that or look forward to any future action (hope you note the positive - or wishful if you insist - thinking here) being conducted strictly with the lights out. 'Tis strange to think no man other that Him Formerly has seen me naked since I was 25. 'Tis not so strange that I don't actually want to think about it too much
Getting Out More -Tres successful. Getting out so much I actually find myself looking forward to some being in time. OK, so my getting outs may not be everyone's idea of exciting but for me they are quite big, and quite unusual, insofar as I am doing ordinary things on my own for the first time. Driving a car (or rather following verbal instructions while clinging hopefully to the steering wheel) is getting me out; having to run all errands myself (actually, maybe not that unusual); walking to sports shop to collect a sackful of tennis balls for the BBGs (who like to hide them in parks for all the poor dogs who don't have a human that walks to the sports shop); meeting friends and former colleagues for lunch/drinks/gossip; meeting blog followers for mutual catharsis and cheering upness; walking BBGs; updating local retailers/residents on status of Him Formerly because they all wondered aloud why they haven't seen him and have now taken me under their wings as someone who deserves a bit of a break and the occasional free coffee/doughnut/shoulder.
All that and I have still found time to say yes to trips to the cinema, trips to to pubs, trips to restaurants and even a trip to London (that is a biggie, had to be asked twice to find the courage to say yes to that one). And I even have to put the bins out myself now too. So yes. Getting out more.
Learning to Drive - As noted above, I am still regularly clinging to a steering wheel and hoping for the best. Lesson number six is due tomorrow and hopefully I can remember everything from lesson number two. That's how it seems to work for me anyway.
Considering a Career - There is something about this one that makes me wish I hadn't included it in Project:Life Changing. Partly due to my fondness for tying shoelaces and partly because I haven't yet entirely convinced myself of a way forward. Although 'actively seeking work' in order to access some of the National Insurance I have paid to date, I am still a little torn between what I want to do, what I need to do and what I will probably end up doing. Not to mention other factors coming into play such as BBG sitting, being more mobile should I ever stop clinging and start driving and where I might end up living. I just hope that the synchronicity I am experiencing in other areas of my life will soon manifest in the career corner too.
Either that or I win the lottery.
Yours in hope and fear, AJ x
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