McLife

Whoever was responsible for wiring up the human brain needs a bloody good talking to. What use is it to anyone to some rather useful grey matter that can offer up good advice to the very same grey matter that refuses to accept it. Like, I knew I shouldn't have worn my white shoes to walk the BBGs, but I did anyway.

My brain is full of good advice that has been under-used, overlooked or sidelined, all rattling around in the hefty Told You So box that squabbles over the seating arrangements with Hindsight. Hindsight being another wonderful thing that is of no practical use to anyone.

What I actually need is some Foresight. The foresight to see that the choices I make are not going to hurt me or anyone else, the foresight to see that decisions I make are the right ones not the wrong ones, and the foresight to see what's coming as a result of my actions. So at the first opportunity I am heading off to McLife to order Big Foresight (easy on the ketchup) with a side of Always Knowing What to Do for the Best.

Am I heckers like.

Imagine really knowing what the future holds. Really knowing. It would be a life with no anticipation, no fear, no curiosity, no dreams, no worry, no surprises. There would be no nerves and no butterflies. No taking chances. There would be no hope.

Having recently experienced the nearest I ever want to get to complete hopelessness I know it is something not to be desired. Because even in the darkest hours of recent months, the white butterfly has flickered into view. Momentarily. Briefly. But still there. Just enough to help me understand that this is just another of life's lessons, designed to nourish my senses, feed my soul and draw me closer to a state of human grace.

A state where I can make decisions and accept my own choices, for better or for worse. A state where I know that I may not always do what is for the best but I know I do it with the best of intentions. In fact, a state so familiar to us all that it is only when it momentarily seems to falter that we become more acutely aware of it.

Life is about learning. Life is about human grace. Life is about hope. McLife can shuff off.

Yours in hope and fear, AJ x