Crockabillies

Slightly ashamed that barely a couple of weeks of blogging has gone by and I have already missed a day. But that is a good thing because it means I have been focusing on one of my other life changing policies, Getting Out More.

Until I hit the brink I hadn't realised quite how dark the place I had got to was. It was only seeing the terrible effect it had on Bear that made me see just how heavy those dark clouds had become. A sort of Epiphany moment dawned and I understand now that one person can't make you happy if you are not happy within yourself. For too long I had wanted Bear to make me happy and he floundered - as would most people - under the impossibility of the task.

Fortunately, despite what now appears to have been a self-imposed moratorium on happiness, I am beginning to appreciate that if I feel happier with myself then others can enjoy my happiness too. And that first step back to a happy place has been taken by saying 'yes' instead of 'no' Which is ok as I am NOT Samantha, despite what Little Blister might think.

So on Friday I said 'yes' to a viewing of SATC at Harbour Lights with H. And on Saturday I said 'yes' to a rocking night out at the Soul Cellar. And, despite feeling a little blurry round the edges, it was following a 'yes' to the Sunday walk with the BBGs, Zoom-Zooms (BBGs English Bull Terrier buddy) and Pete (Zoom-Zooms' English Bull Human, my buddy) that he mentioned the phrase 'Crockabilly'. Homage to the forty-somethings that still enjoy bouncing, bobbing or just plain old foot-tapping to a certain style of sound.

So last night, with a few Smirnoff Ice's under my new belt, I took the plunge and and aimed for a great night out. Not quite a bullseye shot as I couldn't help missing the Bear, but boy did the Black Cat Boppers rock and Mr de La-Loi croon. And I nearly sprained my ankle trying to foot-tap with boots that kept sticking to the beer soaked floor. I laughed a lot too. Which felt unusual.

Now in future perhaps, when the dark clouds look set to gather, I can remind myself that even when your heart is heavy it's worth saying 'yes'. Especially to night out with the Crockabillies.

Yours in hope and fear, AJ x