I had to meet with Him Formerly tonight. It wasn't pleasant and there were a lot of unpleasantries, my particular favourite being his comment about my no longer single status. "It didn't take you long" he sniped. I wanted to smack him round his stupid head with one of those pots that call kettles black. WTF? He didn't even wait for the relationship to end before lining up a reserve. Pfft.
I also rather liked the point at which he informed me that I shouldn't call him in the evenings (see Lead Poisoning) because Her is there. I should call him during the day when Her isn't there. Unable to resist I laughed at the fact he has ended up with someone he already has to hide things from. He stoically defended his corner and said it was merely for my own good as she just wants to give me a piece of her mind. A piece of her mind indeed. I think with a mind as small as that she is at risk of losing it altogether.
I do have it on good authority however that my mind is the size of a small planet, which means I have plenty to go around. What's more, as evidenced by this blog, I have no qualms about sharing it. So let me share this thought:
If you are going to fall in love with a man who leaves his previous relationship and isn't even allowed to pass GO before he gets to you I would suggest you make room for a little baggage. I think I mentioned that somewhere before (Nobody Solves a Problem Like ... ). In the case of Him Formerly that will be about 15 years worth of baggage.
Now, many years ago myself and Him Formerly were in a bar where we bumped into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. New girlfriend was another of those am-dram green-eyed types and whilst I was chatting to ex-boyfriend she began whining to Him Formerly, "Doesn't it annoy you that she is talking to him?".
Him Formerly replied, "No. They slept together for 5 years, I am sure they have plenty to talk about." Now my maths isn't great but I do know that 15 is 5 x 3. Three times as long. Three times more to talk about.
Aaah. But then I realise the issue isn't the talking. The issue is how awfully, dreadfully, horribly, appallingly, terribly, what-the-fuck-everly, I treated poor Him Formerly. How I ruined his life. All on my own. Because he wasn't there to help. I feel another Pfft coming on. So 'Pfft'. There are two people (sometimes more) in every relationship and therefore two sides to every story.
I think just maybe I should give Her the benefit of the doubt. Just maybe Him Formerly misunderstood. Just maybe she wasn't talking about a piece of her mind but her peace of mind. Something she will find very hard to come by with a man who keeps hiding his baggage.
Yours in hope & fear, AJ x
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