Shoelaces

This heartbreak stuff is bloody hard work. And seeing as I am of the persuasion that ducks to tie an imaginary shoelace when the call up for hard work comes along, I am not quite sure how I got offered the job. It's not even just any old job, it appears I have been selected for the role of CEO.

Therefore I am ultimately accountable for all areas of business, including Tears, Pain, Confusion, Tears, Hurt, Frustration, Sobbing, Tears, Regret, Sadness and of course the Management Consultants bought in to oversee Shattered Self Esteem, Bleakness and the rather dysfunctional What If team. Oh, and did I mention I am also in charge of Tears?

With such a demanding executive role I was quite sure my PA would have been instructed to scheduled in some appropriate training. At the very least I expected an induction day, some meet and greet sessions with key members of my management team. No? No.

No PA. No Management Team. Just me. In at the deep end. (The end for which the Tears Department has been working round the clock to ensure top quality deepness). I have now spent many days (or maybe weeks, or months, or years, I'm not entirely sure) floundering about in the deep end, definitely not waving, definitely drowning.

However I am bored with drowning now. In fact, thoroughly pissed off with it. And what I am really pissed off about is that I can't seem to get pissed off with the person who gave me this job. The Bear. Which pisses me off. Clearly his recruitment technique needs reviewing. Doesn't he realise I am not the right person for the job. I was tying my shoelaces.

And so I will return to tying my shoelaces until a better offer comes along. Preferably one that matches the job description I signed up for.


Yours in hope and fear, AJ x